Fleur Blanc

Hello there. My name is Anny. I like reading, writing, photography and being crazy.  hello! theme by cissysaurus
09
01

Actually though, meditation is ridiculously easy by Dan Harris

Let us hack meditation!

It really involves three extremely simple steps.


Step 1 : Sit with your eyes closed and your back straight.

Step 2 : Notice what it feels like when your breath comes in and when your breath goes out, try to bring your full attention to the feeling of your breath coming in and going out.

Step 3 : Third step is the biggie. Every time you try to do this, your mind is going to go crazy. You are going to start thinking about all sorts of stupid things like if you need a haircut, why you said that dumb thing to your boss, what’s for lunch, etc. Every time you notice that your mind is wandering, bring your attention back to your breath and begin again. This is going to happen over and over and over again and that is meditation.

It’s not easy. You will “fail” a million times but the “failing” and starting over is succeeding. So this isn’t like most things in your life where, like if you can’t get up on water skis, you can’t do it. Here the trying and starting again, trying and starting again, that’s the whole game.

Source : 3 Simple Things That Will Make You 10% Happier

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2014/08/10-happier/

08
04

A village girl calls Anny

My name is Anny. I’m 25. I am Thai. I come from a very remote small town where majority population are farmers. Back in early 90s, I was about 6, television and cars were the most innovative technology and anyone who owned those stuff would be considered rich. Too bad my family didn’t own any of those. So everyday while my mom left home to work(she’s a teacher), I and my brother had to stay with my aunt because there was no such places like nursery or preschool. She would took us to her farm everyday – everyday we walked for almost 2 hours to her farm. It was like when you go on tracking, golden scenery of infinite-looking rice pad, green forest like Mirkwood and Rivendell.

But no, I wouldn’t consider it a tracking because it was my daily routine. That was the very first pictures I can remember my childhood. I was playing and helping my aunt harvest the rice, ride a buffalo while my uncle had it plough the field. I didn’t go to school until I was 8. Mom sent us to public school and I learned how to read. One day in summer, I was 15, I was looking at an English text book that my cousin gave me (so that I didn’t have to buy a new one) I looked at it, completely had no idea how to read it. I saw a hand writing letter in English on a cover, assuming it should be my cousin name and then I said to myself, I want to be able to read, write and speak English, then I wrote my name Annie in Thai alphabet. I kept thinking the whole summer and decided to leave home. I said to my mom I wanted to go to better school and bigger city where I can discover the world. Mom sadly agreed with my will and I moved to live with my cousin.

It was a bigger public school and I’ve learned and discovered different world. But somehow I felt like I was the odd. I was that kid who always asked weird questions which teachers couldn’t explain the answers. And actually in Thailand, or I would say my experience in Thailand public school, you can’t ask questions to teachers because it considered disrespectful. Critical thinking? No they don’t teacher you either. So I was a nerd at home reading and digged out things I was curious about. While friends went to the mall for shopping, I stayed home, discussed business and politic with my uncle, learned cooking with my aunt and competed fast reading with myself. I aggressively love reading a lot. Final year in high school, I won a one year full scholarship to Denmark but mom wouldn’t let me go.

So I didn’t go to Denmark and finished high school. I wanted to go to the #1 university in Thailand but my family couldn’t effort it so I chose this university where they offered me free scholarship and I stayed on my own. However, I still wanted to go abroad and it had to be scholarship. So in my 2rd year, I was 19, I went to America. It was a summer program where I was sent to work at Mcdonald, in Mississippi. Why Mississippi? Because I was from unknown school and all those from well known school got to go to California. But it was one of the best experience in my life. And then 3rd year I went to Japan for exchange summer program, schorlarship. Of all experiences and life lessons since I was born, curiosity leads me all through and I am grateful for that. 

07
30

I am the odd, and I can’t blend. How does it feel like working for Google or SpaceX?

I work as an account manager at a Japanese company, IT solutions provider where it is listed on Fortune500 and marked on the top tier on Gartner Magic quadrant. I am in a pivot point of life changing, unsure whether I should go left or right or straight. I wonder how does it feel like working in big company like Google, will make me happy. 

I first came to Bangkok for my internship and been working and living in Bangkok for 5 years now. Student life and work life are totally different. I had to separate certain percent of my salary to support my family since the first time I got paid and I figured out quickly what responsibility and priority are. I have a passion in IT so I started my first job in IT company. I was an executive secretary for a president of the company for 2 years and quit because it was boring. Before I quit that job, I was studying GMAT because I wanted to go to Wharton. But after considering my responsibility to my family, not only that I have to fight for scholarship but I also can’t quit paying my family for 2 years of grad school. So I have to hold my Wharton plan.

I was looking for a new job and had 5 job offers at that time, 4 Japanese company (yes, I speak Japanese) and 1 Australian. I picked this company because of its excellent reputation, 1st on top,  great IT company, smart people, that was what I looking for. I didn’t have any knowledge about IT or technical background when I started this job. I’ve been having fun learning and selling IT solutions, dealing with thousand of different people – colleague, clients, partners, vendors, competitors. One year and a half pass by, from having zero knowledge about IT to closed won a million$ cloud deal. I’d realized something, I am the odd. How? Imagine you are drawing a box, it is my company, I walked in there, went to every corners of the box, met everyone of 300 people in the box and walked around that box over and over. Sometimes I said let’s get out of the box but majority people said to me no. Giving a real example, last year we just launched our global private cloud base solution. Nobody wanted to sell it, engineer didn’t want to implement and always BOM an old school on-premise solutions for me(I mean I can BOM that myself, shall we make something new?). Or when I said every clients are unique and we can’t offer them the same pattern or solution and they just said to me as always, well Annie, we have standard to maintain. So I’ve been tring to blend to these people. But it was stressful to ”maintain standard” until one day I decided to go ahead and learn this new thing by myself. I was a presale myself and sold 2VM to the first client. Up until these days 80% of cloud base clients are mine.

This is just an example of how I feel when having to deal with internal people whom I know a’ready what they are going to say or do or even if about technical stuff, I can Google it without having to ask them. I can’t expect any new exciting idea from these people. Everyday I have to deal with same people, same idea, same set of mine. It is boring and I feel like I am the odd.

Not only about work but also personal. Like while I want to discuss about the latest launch of SpaceX F9R, my friends/colleague would always talks about their latest collection of Jimmy Choo or their celeb Benz driving boyfriends. Or when I said hey I just started learning Python, they would be like what is it? and start talking about Hollywood gossip. Don’t even thinking about books or reading. Thai people rarely read, trust me.Sometimes I ask myself am I having a social interaction problem? Then I realized, no absolutely not, I am an excellent player on making the deal or whenever I attend networking event or any event. I like meeting new people and enjoy the art of communications. Anyway, of all these things, I was thinking maybe I should move out of Bangkok, change to work for different company, different kinds of people? So I applied for AWS Singapore, luckily they arranged an interview with me but unfortunately they didn’t choose me and without telling me even a reason why.

However, because I couldn’t ”maintain standard”, I still want to quit this job and I considered seriously to make my freelance consultant job to be a real consulting firm. But as a country girl who always dream big about working in a wold class company, surround with smart people, discover the world and be one of those who make new history, I revise my CV and is planing to apply for Google, Rackspace and Akamai. Until last night, a friend of mine said to me, you know what Annie, any big corporation are the same. They can’t be innovative and you will have to deal with the same thing you’re dealing with right now. Same culture, same set of mine, same idea and you have to follow them. And I bet that you will end up leaving your dream job. I get what he said but quite not sure should I agree with him or not. I mean I’m not sure if those company will offer me my dream job or not but if one of them does, will I end up dealing with what I’m dealing with right now? If so, I rather start my own business from scratch and devote my time on something making me satisfied for this adventurous and precious life. Or maybe go ahead and try to get my dream job and I will find out what’s next? I personally a dreamer kind of person and always pursue the dreams. I don’t know. I’m kinda lost. It is really stressful and I must find out the way out soon. It is not only myself but I have huge responsibility about my family also. 

07
01
The eightfold path